What do you believe?

When you first hear that question you probably think about religion. Then you might go philosophical and/or moral. But those things are just the tip of the iceberg of what you believe.

Really they are probably not the most important beliefs you have. They may be foundational, but they aren’t necessarily affecting where you are going in life. A debate for another day.

Today I want to help you find and examine beliefs that do matter.

The Exercise

Get a blank sheet of paper and at the top write down one thing that you want to do or accomplish, but you currently aren’t doing it. This can be a goal, a task, or any action you aren’t taking.

Go ahead, I’ll wait. When I do this live, I give people 30 seconds.

Ok now I want you to quickly write under it a list of the reasons you aren’t doing it. You’ve got a minute. Don’t spend too much time thinking, just write them down as quickly as you can.

Done?

The Interrogation

Now let’s examine some of these reasons. Because these “reasons” are why you aren’t getting what you want.

Bastards. Let’s interrogate them a little.

Firstly, ask about each of them: Are they true?

Sometimes just writing it down and looking at it shows us we’re full of crap.

Cross those out on your sheet and in your mind.

Secondly, pretend a good friend has the same goal and brought that list to you. Which beliefs suddenly seem pretty subjective? What would you tell your friend if that was what was holding them back?

If you really want to attack these show the list to a friend and ask their opinion on them. You may be surprised.

Thirdly, ask the beliefs that are left: “Does it really matter?”  Is that thing really keeping you from getting what you want? Or do you know of people who’ve gotten what you want but still had that problem? Can you imagine ways to get what you want and not change that problem?

There are lots of ways to question our limiting beliefs. It will be a reoccuring theme of blog posts in the future here on Distinctions For life, but this is a good start.

How to Overcome Your Obstacles

Let’s assume for the moment your reasons are valid at this point. Now they are obstacles and the question becomes, “How do I overcome this obstacle?”

This too is a large question with a bunch of different answers. There will be many distinctions about how to overcome specific kinds of obstacles. But here’s a basic and quick one.

Many obstacles require you to change. You need to learn something, gain some information, do some research. Others require you to gain and perfect a skill, these require training and time.

In all those cases you need to figure out what you need to do, make a plan and work the plan. Often you’ll need to consult an expert to help you make your plan. 

Better Beliefs Are Key

One of the things I want you to take away from this exercise is you’ve got beliefs that you may not even be aware of. Beliefs that are holding you back.

Now you have a tool to help you figure out what beliefs are at work in your life and holding you back. In the future there will be more tools for figuring these things out.

But all we did here was get rid of some bad beliefs. You can find positive or better beliefs you need to add to you mind. We’ll talk about those later, but for now ask yourself, “What things, if I believed them, would make doing this a lot easier?”

One thing many people believe they can’t do is….

Photo by Yeshi Kangrang on Unsplash

Distinctions for Life are anything that helps your live better. From the mundane, like keeping your feet comfortable through the day, to the philosophical, like how attention defines your life. Some are subtle and may take a long explanation to allow you to apply them and change. Others are so easy they can be explained in a few sentences.

We humans are categorizing animals. It is nearly impossible for us to not look for patterns and group things together. Here’s a few categories for distinctions

Ideas are distinctions. Sometimes a new intellectual understanding can make a big change in your life. Understanding the effects of where you put your attention is an idea that once you get it, will allow major changes. Likewise, understanding your beliefs have a huge impact on you is an idea that makes a big difference.

Beliefs are distinctions. Read the Beliefs post which goes in-depth about what beliefs are and why they are important. Other posts teach you useful beliefs that are distinctions all by themselves.

Metaphors are distinctions. Metaphors are symbols that we use to think about life and things in life. Sometimes these metaphors bring baggage with them that needs to be examined, like the metaphor of work/life balance. 

Life hacks are distinctions. These are habits, tools or systems that once implemented in your life will change you for the better. These are often the “small changes” that make the big difference. 

Practices are distinctions. A practice is a small thing that if done regularly slowly but surely improves your life. An example of a practice would be Morning Pages. 

Words are distinctions. Sometimes the way we use words have a deep but subtle influence. A change of terminology can make you more persuasive, kinder, or a better leader. We call these distinctions Work Hacks.

I remember hearing a speaker once talk about how many books he’d read, how many speakers he’d heard. He said some of them were very bad, but he told himself, “If I just learn one little thing that I can apply from this book, then it was worth it.” 

This blog is a collection of those “one things” I’ve picked up over the years. Not every post is going to be relevant to you when you read it. Somethings you will try it and it won’t give you a big return. But given all the different distinctions here, you should find something that makes tomorrow better than the day before.

One pet peeve of mine is when a books spends the quarter of the book telling you why you should make a particular change, or why what they say is true. I always think, “Look I bought the book. Let’s get to it already.”

One of the beauties of Distinctions is they prove themselves. 

If you do them.

I’m going to ask you to actually do stuff and see what happens. If it works for you, you’ll know it. If it doesn’t work there might be bugs in the systems. Double check you are doing it as described. If you are doing it right and it still doesn’t work for you, move on. 

Sometimes though all it takes is a change in…

Photo by Syed Farhan Ahmed on Unsplash